Tag: Jesus

What the hell was the devil thinking?

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Luke Chapter 4 gives another version of the story of Jesus being tempted by Satan in the wilderness. The devil’s attempts remind me of the Child Catcher in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, but without the successful results. “Kingdoms! Power! Glory! And All Free Today!”

What I can’t figure out is if the devil really thought he had any chance. Once upon a time he was the greatest angel in heaven, a cherub (Ezekiel 28:14). He stood in the very presence of God. He knew who and what God was. He knew Jesus. He worshiped at the altar of God Almighty. If anyone should have a good idea of what they are in comparison to God it should have been Lucifer. But his utter audacity at trying to get God to worship him is a testament to the power of self-delusion.

I wonder if part of his testing Jesus was to discern if he actually was the Messiah or not. I think we give the devil more credit than he deserves for foresight and wisdom (I don’t think he is wise at all; I’ll get to that next week). Even John the Baptist had his doubts about Jesus. First he says, “Look, the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world!” (John 1:29), but later he sends his disciples to ask if Jesus really is the Messiah or should they be looking for someone else (Luke 7:20). This Jesus of Nazareth, with his humble birth, unassuming appearance, working class family, country accent, and ragtag group of friends, would be a far cry from the King of Kings that Satan once knew in Heaven.

The first temptation in Luke 4 is, “If you are the Son of God, tell this stone to become bread.” (v 3). It sounds like a taunt. I can hear the sneer in his voice, but also some wondering. Perhaps he was thinking, “IF you are the Son . . . Is he? Could he be? I sense his presence and shudder. But a peasant? From Galilee? So common! So ordinary! He can’t be! Yet, he must be. …Is he?” The lesser demons didn’t seem to have any doubts (see verse 33), but their leader may have done what a lot of clever people do, that is, overthink everything. That is pure speculation, though. Scripture offers no details.

Jesus answers him with Scripture. “It is written: ‘Man does not live on bread alone.” (v. 4, quoting Deuteronomy 8:3).

Jesus 1, Satan 0.

In the second temptation the devil seems to throw all caution to the wind, like he just can’t contain himself anymore. The devil led him up to a high place and showed him in an instant all the kingdoms of the world. And he said to him, “I will give you all their authority and splendor, for it has been given to me, and I can give it to anyone I want to. So if you worship me, it will all be yours.” (v. 5-6) Where I heard a sneer in the first temptation, I hear desperate desire in this one. He is betraying what he wants more than anything, to be God himself and see God humiliated at his feet. If he had a physical body he’d have been drooling at this point.

Jesus answers with Scripture again. “It is written: ‘Worship the Lord your God and serve him only.’ ” (v. 8, quoting Deut. 6:13)

Jesus 2, Satan 0.

As exhausted, hungry, and thirsty as Jesus was after 40 days of fasting in the desert, could he really have been tempted by these things? My NIV notes say that Satan was offering Jesus a shortcut to world domination, thus avoiding the necessity of the cross. Maybe, but I doubt if the devil really understood what the cross was all about at that point. If he had, he might not have been in such a hurry to see Jesus get strung up there after he failed here.

And the devil doesn’t seem to have noticed that he betrayed his own dependency upon God in that second temptation. He says that all authority has been given to him. That implies an authority higher than Satan which gave him that authority. Satan doesn’t own the world. He just somehow (Genesis 3) has been given authority over it, like the owner of a building giving the authority to run it over to a property manager.

By the third temptation, the devil seems to be losing his temper. The devil led him to Jerusalem and had him stand on the highest point of the temple. “If you are the Son of God,” he said, “throw yourself down from here. For it is written: ‘He will command his angels concerning you to guard you carefully; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.” (v. 9-11, quoting Psalm 91:11-12.)

It’s like the school bully trying to pressure someone into doing something stupid. “C’mon, just do it. Do it! DO IT!” If Jesus WAS God and jumped, then the devil would have tricked God into defying his own word about tempting God. If Jesus WASN’T God, then he at least would have the fun of watching some pathetic loser plummet to his death.

But Jesus just answered him with Scripture one more time. “It says: ‘Do not put the Lord your God to the test.’ ” (v. 12, quoting Deut. 6:16.)

Jesus for the Win! Three to Zip.

I’m left wondering if the devil really was self-deluded enough to think he could pull off the ultimate coup and make God worship him. We see from Isaiah 14 that he certainly thinks he deserves the job of ruling the universe. And when is evil ever logical? When we look at all the great tyrants in history, we see men whose lust for domination leads usually to madness and always, inevitably, to their ruin in death. Yet, men still become tyrants. History be damned.

Matthew’s version of this story ends with Jesus rebuking Satan and sending him away, and the devil having no option but to leave, once again showing who the REAL boss is here.

This meeting of pure evil and pure good, face to face, got me to thinking about the character of God versus the character of the devil. In the next two weeks I am going to compare and contrast the two. I think anyone who considers the scriptures would find it impossible to believe that good and evil are opposites, two sides of the same coin. It just isn’t so. One is the real thing, the other just a cheap counterfeit. SPOILER ALERT: Shame on anyone who thinks Jesus and the devil are equals/brothers.

If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For all who call upon the name of the Lord will be saved. Acts 10:9-13

You are Loved! Psalm 139

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Man, there’s a lot of crap out there right now. If I never hear the words “Covid-19” or “Coronavirus” or “social distancing” ever again I will be perfectly happy. Besides this global pestilence thing there were the fires in Australia, the hordes of locusts in Africa and the Middle East, whatever disaster hit California this year, and there was a 6.5 earthquake in IDAHO today. Nothing ever happens in Idaho, so part of me is thinking maybe the sh*t really IS about to get real.

Who knows. I do think that God may be trying to get our attention. But even if he is, or if all this is happening just because we live in an unpredictable, dangerous, fallen world, we don’t need to be afraid. Just take a deep breath, step away from the media horror hype, and remember how dearly you are loved by God. He’s in control. If you are his, you are going to be okay.

Psalm 139 is a favorite pro-life psalm, with good reason, but it applies to all of us. It applies to me and to YOU.

O Lord, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O Lord. (verse 1-4)

Why is this comforting? The creator of all the universe and the sustainer of all life not only made you but he knows you intimately, better than you know yourself. He is beyond time, so he has an infinite amount of time to devote to you individually. He knows everything you’ve ever done, everything you’ve ever thought, yet you’re still alive! So he must really, really love you.

If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your right hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. (verse 8-10)

We can never be away from God’s loving care. Even if we’ve sinned so badly we think we’re beyond hope, he is right there beside us. Remember the prodigal son (Luke 15:11-31). He messed up about as much as anyone could, yet when he finally slithered back home he found his father was watching for him, and his father ran to him, threw his arms around him, and kissed him. Dad didn’t wait for Junior to come groveling and then humiliate or chastise him. That is so hard for us to understand! A judgmental, distant, displeased God, that is easy to imagine. But the creator of the universe, loving us so much that HE runs to US? For some reason that is hard to wrap our heads around. But it’s true. You are loved by God so far beyond anything you could ever ask or imagine. He gave you everything, literally. Not only did he give you life, but Jesus gave his life to pay the sin-debt that none of us can ever pay on our own. I am loved, you are loved, we are LOVED!

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. (verse 14)

It is always a good time to give thanks to God for our many blessings. Did you wake up today? Have enough to eat? A job to go to? Someone to talk to? That’s enough to give thanks for right there; everything else is gravy.

Verse 17 has two possible phrasings, according to my NIV notes. First one: How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand.

I interpret that as being amazed at the vastness of God’s thoughts, at how all-encompassing they are. A praise of God’s greatness.

Yet, according to NIV, the other possible phrasing of this is: How precious concerning me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand.

This makes the meaning quite different. It is then far more intimate, and illustrates how consistently God thinks about us. He can do that. He is beyond time, remember, so not limited Iike we are. He has eternity to devote to you. Being concerned about the other 8 billion people on the planet does not take away one moment of the time he has for you.

I encourage anyone who reads this to take time to contemplate this psalm. Contemplate how you are fearfully and wonderfully made. Take five minutes just to look at your hands and be amazed at what incredible things they are. What magnificent little machines, more complex than any man-made machine could hope to be. Then contemplate the one who made you. Who has eternity to devote to you. Who knows you better than you know yourself. Who loves you more completely than you could ever hope for. Who proved that love by setting aside his glory and becoming a human being, by dying on a cross 2000 years ago and then by rising from the grave so you could rise with him. God is in control of even these crazy times, and if you are in Him you are safe, even if you have to go through really hard times. This life is short, Eternity is forever. And you are loved so dearly.

If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. … for all who call upon the name of the Lord will be saved. – Romans 10:9-13

Nabeel, me, and the Problem of Pain

This isn’t what I had planned on posting. And it isn’t about caregiving, or dementia. Oh, well.

September 16, 2017

About a year and a half ago I became interested in Christian apologetics. It occurred to me that I have absolutely no tools with which to defend my faith. Truth be told, I don’t have the tools to defend why breathing is a good idea and everyone ought to try it. I am beyond non-confrontational. I am more the “hurl one accusation at me and I freeze solid” type. So, to try to remedy that, I started listening to what the apologists have to say. It sent me on a journey I never expected, one that I now feel has only really just begun.

C.S. Lewis was the obvious first choice. For many years, I believed that Christian apologetics began and ended with him. I had no idea anyone else ever did it. He is the best and the brightest (please, please read Mere Christianity no matter what your personal beliefs are. You won’t regret it), but I learned he’s not the only one. I’d heard Ravi Zacharias on the radio, and through him discovered other great modern Christian minds, including John Lennox, Andy Bannister, and a convert from Islam named Nabeel Qureshi.

Nabeel especially captured my attention. Young, handsome, passionate and charismatic, he was captivating to listen to. He gave many lengthy talks on his journey from Islam to Christianity (as well as writing books, including Seeking Allah, Finding Jesus, and No God but One), and from him I gained many insights on Muslim thinking and way of life. He was a gifted teacher with a bright future ahead of him. Then he was diagnosed with incurable stomach cancer. For the past year he has released many video blogs of his cancer journey, from chemo, to radiation, to more chemo, to immunotherapy, as well as the other treatments, surgeries, and procedures he endured along the way. It was hard to watch, and pretty much obvious from the get-go that his healing would only ever come from divine intervention. Many thousands of people, including myself, prayed for him throughout this past year and waited on a miracle from God.

Nabeel died today. I will never understand this side of eternity why an all-powerful God said no to our prayers. I don’t know what the answer is. I do believe his ministry will continue to bear fruit; if nothing else, I know the effect it has had on my own life. I also know that Jesus never promised us an easy life. In fact, quite the opposite. In John 16:33 he tells the twelve disciples, “In this world you will have trouble.” Which they did. One committed suicide, ten were martyred, and only one died of old age. But he followed up that statement with, “But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

What exactly does that mean? To an outsider, it’s just hot air coming from a deluded nut job who duped his buddies into enduring hell on earth for however many years before dying. A few days ago I posted a request on Twitter for prayer for Nabeel. Some guy who wouldn’t use his real name (I’ll call him Poison Pen), responded with a bunch of vitriol against Nabeel and God. We had a discussion on Twitter that was interesting for a couple of days until he abandoned his arguments and kept throwing “God is a psycho” around and not responding rationally to anything I or anyone else on the thread had to say. Before things deteriorated, Poison Pen kept circling back to how could a loving God let people die, focusing on the millions who died in the Flood. It is the age-old question. The answer boils down to Free Will, pure and simple. Without the opportunity to rebel against God, we could never be rational creatures capable of thought, creativity, love, or anything else worth having. That statement opens up millions of avenues for discussion, and people far cleverer than I have devoted volumes to the topic.

It doesn’t, however, explain why a 34-year-old God-fearing man with a wife and daughter who need him, just died from a disease that usually attacks people far older. Poison Pen, a self-described atheist, apparently speaks on behalf of all Muslims, for he told me that Muslims believe Allah cursed Nabeel for abandoning the faith. (I asked him then what do Muslims believe when a young Muslim gets cancer? He just told me to go ask a Muslim. Pointless arguments are such fun.) Anyway, I don’t understand why Nabeel has died; I do believe God can and does cure people. My neighbor, a cancer survivor, was told her cancer had returned and spread to her bones about the same time Nabeel received his diagnosis. She opted for no treatment, is currently in remission and just finished a program at the local college and recently welcomed her first grandchild. Is God brutal or weak because Nabeel died? Is he gracious and strong because my neighbor is alive? Or is it maybe that we just live in a miserable, fallen world where people get cancer, shot, ran over, overdose, choke on a cherry pit, or eaten by piranhas, every single day? Shit happens.

What the whole point is, ultimately, is what happens after. Whether you die at 5, 34, or 117, the fact remains that sooner or later you’re going to die. No one gets out of here alive (except Enoch and Elijah, but that’s another topic). What happens after? It is eternity that counts. Life on earth is short. Eternity lasts for, well, forever. Poison Pen couldn’t get that concept through his head. He kept telling me how Nabeel’s legacy is ruined and his life was pointless. He wouldn’t understand that Nabeel’s life was well-lived and defined by integrity, faith, and love. His thirty-four short years on earth were precious, and this very afternoon I am sure he heard the words all believers long to hear when we meet Jesus face to face: “Well done, thou good and faithful servant.”

How has Nabeel’s life changed mine? For one, he helped to kickstart my prayer life. He encouraged me to fervently seek God in prayer and the word. He bravely demonstrated consistent faith in and love for God in the most trying circumstances imaginable. He fought the good fight, he ran the race, he kept the faith. Now there is in store for him the crown of righteousness. (2 Timothy 4:7-8) Nabeel is partying right now! He is with the Lord, he is enveloped in love and peace, and he will never know sickness or pain again. He is reunited with a child he never got to meet on Earth when his wife miscarried last year. The tragedy is for the ones left behind, not him.

I want to be like Nabeel: that brave, that bold, that passionate. He is a huge inspiration to me. I will never be an apologist, but I was able to answer Poison Pen intelligently and kindly, two things that would have been beyond me a year ago. I have a lot of questions, and wish this isn’t how Nabeel’s earthly story would have ended. But I know he affected my life. He helped me draw closer to God. I know his legacy will live on, in his family and his testimony. I know I will meet him in Heaven. And I know that, someday, I will fully understand the age-old problem of why we endure pain and suffering.

Note: for a brief but lovely overview of Nabeel’s life and ministry, visit https://blogs.thegospelcoalition.org/justintaylor/2017/09/16/nabeel-qureshi-1983-2017/

“Just Make Time For Yourself!”

This poster showed up on my Twitter feed last week. As well-meaning as it is, it immediately got my hackles up.

Don’t get me wrong; this is great advice from the National Institute on Aging. They are right that caregiving is so much easier to bear if you have help, spend time with friends, have a support group, and take time for yourself and your hobbies. The only thing they fail to mention is that, for many of us, none of those things are even an option.

To be a long-term caregiver is to be perpetually exhausted, both mentally and physically. For many people, such as myself, caregiving makes you basically a shut-in. You can’t get out. You get to the point where you can’t think straight, it is hard to make even small decisions, and you don’t have the energy to look for help when you need it the most. That’s when you see something like this poster and your eyes suddenly blaze red.

How exactly are you supposed to take care of yourself? Don’t they know how impossible it is to follow any of these tips when your hands are full 24 hours a day? In case you don’t know, this is a typical day in the life of a Dementia caregiver:

Wake up at 6 AM, completely unrested because Mom was up five times during the night demanding to be taken home, or to the “other place,” or to the police station to turn herself in (this really happened).
Mom decides she needs to put on three bras and you try to calmly get her to wear only one. After half an hour you give up and she wears three bras.
Breakfast is fine, until she tries to feed it all to the animals.
10 minutes after breakfast is over she angrily demands to know where her breakfast is and do you want her to starve?
You have another go-round for thirty minutes when she decides to brush her teeth with a tube of Neosporin. You realize just how strong people in their 80s can be as you try to wrestle the Neosporin out of her grip.
She calms down for few minutes over a cup of tea, then messes herself and you have to strip her down, get her into the shower and put clean clothes on her. This takes about two hours.
You have a couple hours of relative peace to try to clean the house and prep dinner, but then she goes all Mom on you and starts badgering you to “take it easy! I’ll do that!” which sounds nice but she doesn’t let up and your blood pressure escalates into the danger zone.
At 3 PM the sundowner’s sets in and she starts her loop of the day. Could be anything; with my mom it was “Where is Jim? When is Jim coming home? Where is Jim? Is Jim home yet? I need to go find Jim. Where is Jim?” This goes on and on for hours, sometimes into the wee hours of the morning. It is as unendurable as Chinese water torture. Then, somehow, you might both bag a couple hours of sleep before she’s up again, demanding to be taken home.

This, and many, many other things besides, make up the average day in the life of an Alzheimer’s (or other dementia) caregiver. Sometimes they have a good day, but as the disease progresses the good days get fewer and further between, until what you call a “good” day is what you would have called a “bad” day a year ago. So again I ask, how do you take care of yourself?

In my experience, the longer time went on, the more isolated I felt. I was luckier than many people; I have family that spelled me off so I could take one vacation a year and have little breaks now and then. But they were busy with their own lives and they all live far away. That’s a big problem – even the most loving friends and family just can’t be there for you as often as you might want them to be. People have to earn a living and raise their own families and deal with their own problems, which are undoubtedly as insurmountable to them as yours are to you.

Getting out to a support group wasn’t feasible for me, so I spent a lot of time in online groups and forums. They do help a lot. You can vent to other people who know exactly what you’re going through, and hearing their stories makes you realize you’re really not alone. The problem with those, for me, was that so many other people were relentlessly negative. I understand they were as exhausted as me, but hearing people say over and over “I’m stuck here,” “I can’t get out,” “I hate my mom,” etc., didn’t make me feel better. If I read stuff like that on a bad day it could quickly set my mind on a dangerous downward trajectory.

What saved me was – as he always does – Jesus. OH NO SHE’S GETTING ALL RELIGIOUS, UGH! I understand if you feel that way, but no. I’m not “religious,” I am a Christian. Being a Christian is a relationship, not following some set of rules hoping to get some kind of result. “There is a friend who is closer than a brother” – Proverbs 18:24. Who else is there to turn to, in the end? Really, think about it. My friends and family could only tolerate hearing my Mom woes for so long. Getting to support groups wasn’t an option. But the Lord is with us, ALL THE TIME, even when we’re not aware of his presence. I knew that, and it is him I poured my heart out to. He never said, “you’ve already told me this a thousand times,” or tried to get rid of me with a useless platitude like “you need to take care of yourself.” He knew I couldn’t take care of myself, and so He took care of me. He listened all those nights I sobbed about how exhausted and lonely I was, about how Mom was driving me crazy and I couldn’t endure one more day. Looking back, I can see his love and compassion for me, how he gave me strength, how he gently chided me and turned my thoughts around when I got too far down the self-pity path, how I never really felt as isolated as so many people do. In his amazing way, he used family and other resources to provide the help that both Mom and I needed. “He restoreth my soul” – Psalm 23:3. By ourselves, none of us are big enough to tackle life’s toughest battles. But we have someone on our side who is big enough to fight those battles. And He does.

*(Totally irrelevant photo of my sister’s dog, Oakley, because he is adorable and his adorableness just makes things better.)*

If you’re new on your caregiving journey, I would strongly advise you to put resources in place BEFORE you get to the really hard times. There are places to go where you can get respite help, sometimes even for free. I think most parts of the country have an Area Agency on Aging or similar service – you can find links to your area on the National Institute on Aging’s website: https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/alzheimers/caregiving. They also offer some good tips for caregivers which are perhaps best taken to heart BEFORE you reach burnout stage like I did. It may still not be as much of a break as you would like, but it can be enough to keep you going one more day. Most of all, pray. Get to know the Lord, discover what a relationship with Him is really all about. Give him every step of your caregiving journey and all of yourself, the good and the bad. Your life is already never going to be the same again, but He can make it not the same in a different and better way than you could possibly imagine.

From Psalm 28:

To you I call, O LORD my Rock; do not turn a deaf ear to me.

For if you remain silent, I will be like those who have gone down to the pit.

Hear my cry for mercy as I call to you for help,

As I lift up my hands toward your most Holy Place.

…Praise be to the LORD, for he has heard my cry for mercy.

The LORD is my strength and my shield;

My heart trusts in him, and I am helped.

My heart leaps for joy

And I will give thanks to him in song.